Friday 16 October 2009

Bloody cheek!


Would you adam and eve it? Of all the nerve! I mean Really????


Babysitting at mate's house. Dark already! Go outside for a fag don't I . Felt something fall spookily over my shoulder. Screamed - assuming it was a zombie - it was only a bloody spiders web! Walked right through the bloody thing!


Beside me was a spider hastily scrambling up on what was left of its web. It gave me a filthy look. Look where you're going, you stupid cow!, it glared. I told it: Excuse me mate, we'd all love to put down webs where we'd like, haven't you heard of consideration and Council tax? And how much rent are you paying here? I keep forgetting.


Spider tutted and went on making a new web. The cheek of these scrounging buggers! I mean I know they're Gods creatures and that, but really! Anyway I took a shot of the cheeky sod, threatened to expose it and sell it to the Sunday Sport. It went pale at that one, I tell you!


Interfering with my fag like that! Bloody cheek!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

CREEEEPY!!! I hate walking into spider webs and hate even more when those wretched things scurry up and around me! I squish 'em flat as a pancake! Your picture gave me the shivers!! You're so much nicer than me.. You let it scurry away even after it interupted your smoke! NOT ME! It would've been dead as a door nail, God's creature or not!

Stigmum said...

Next time sell it to the Sunday Sport! I read once that spiders used to symbolise money and were considered lucky!
Having said this though, I always find the furry fuckers in the bath tub and thinking of the cash get a piece of card and a glass and shove it over the balcony. I have not won the lottery yet but any day now, any day....!

Suburbia said...

They look kinda juicy though don't they?!!!!!

Charlene said...

AHHHHGGGGGGH! I am NOT a fan of the creepy crawlies and recently posted a similar tale. *shivering*

Great blog!

Rebel Mother said...

My house is full of long, hairy legged spiders creeping about. (Its not me, I do shave - honest!).

Charge them council tax, they'll soon move!

RMxx

Anonymous said...

I actually enjoyed this blog. I doubt you can maintain this.

PS: I was given my first pipe at 11

♥ Braja said...

Bloody nerve....

Jeez, Jenny, I haven't seen you since Henry the Dog was around! Nice to catch up with you...

Milla said...

I've told Di about you (edits PRG - site where you saw my autumn thing). Think you should get in touch with her and send her some pieces. 750 words max. You'll have no probs with that - it's Ms Verbosity here struggles to cull the words. If you don't know WHAT I'm talking about, then e-mail me via my blog.
Meanwhile, keep killing the spiders.