Oh my brothers, I am crushed. Really ground down. Just like the fag butt I threw down on the ground and got fined £50 for!
Am suffering from Post Fine Stress. Two community Police officers, one showing the other what to do, keeping me there on the street while they radioed in my address from my library card! (For Frack's sake!). I mean it had my photo on there, and everything.
They said they'd write on the fine that I had a lot on my mind, that being the reason for my serious crime. I suggested they actually put that there were no fag stubbers and those metal things on bins, THAT could be the reason really, couldn't it?!
(Or that they could actually do something important!)
Think I'm suffering from Police brutality. Gonna phone that European Court of Human Rights, or whatever they're called. Are they on Facebook? Does anyone know?
Fifty-seven pounds I had earned the week before in that shop. On the Friday that same fifty pounds went to the Council. Leaving me with seven quid. That went on a packet of fags!
Despite my ordeal, have forced myself to go to Starbucks and the off-licence. Theraputic, really.