The Grocer

Good grief, o'my brothers, what is all this umm-ing and ah-ing? I come down for my fag and coffee at 6.30 and switch on radio 4, fully expecting that John Humphries to tell me who is prime minister, and the stupid sod doesn't know! Well, really , this is not good enough!

Although I laughed at Husband staying up to watch the election while I snuggled down at 10.30, there has been many a time when I have awoken on the sofa in the early and mid eighties. After a night of vote counting and gains and that. And I didn't take the next day off work like wimpy Husband had done. It was a quick change of underwear, a fag and straight back into the jungle! Margaret Thatcher would have been proud!

Daughter (14) asked me who was prime minister now, on the way to school. I recall asking that question myself to my mother in 1970 when I was 11. The difference being that she could give me a straight answer . Conservative, she told me, a nice surprise apparently.
I remember being glad that I wasn't going to see that stupid Harold Wilson and his pipe very much now. Or listen to that Andy Capp type voice - or see his wife Mary. I don't know why she annoyed me so much really.

My mum, despite being a true blue, and although pleased Conservative had got in, really hated Edward Heath and her, and many others, called him a Traitor. I was always confused at this, as when we went to the Conservative Club (cheap beer and a colour telly!), there was a big photograph of him. Why would that be there when they hated him so much?

And I remember him getting red paint thrown on him. And the very few working mothers of schoolfriends constantly being on strike. And don't get me started about the miner's strike and those bloody blackouts..... I've still got the scar on my hand where I burnt it on a candle. Thanks for that!

But at least you knew who the leaders were! When I closed my eyes during that TV debate thing, I couldn't distinguish between Cameron or Clegg and which one was talking. I could Gordon Brown 'cos he had a Scottish accent. But that was all!

How did I get on to this shit? Must be time for a fag.

Went to vote last night only to find there was no Smoking party! How was that then? Think I'll have to start one, can someone lend me the deposit tho'?