Oh My Giddy Aunt....

Bless you and thank you sweeties for your concern. Sorry, yes, I have been off the rails but not in an "Easy Rider" sort of way, more of a "for Flip's sake" sort of way.

Got an offer for the house - nice couple of Balham. Too low, Husband says, can't accept it. Disappointment sat in my stomach like a stone. They're first time buyers - they probably can't find the money. So back to indifferent viewers tramping over the house. I really thought we'd caught a live one there.

Go to London to cheer up. Meet mate outside Cineworld Chelsea. Phone goes. School. Son is ill. Leg it all the way back up the Kings Road. On the train home, Husband phones, he had collected him after all . Come home, have a bloody lie down. Bollocks to it. Cat bites me.

Then work. Stocktaking. What is this work shit? I hate it.

Son been off for three days. Yesterday he drove me mad lying on that bloody sofa. But today I feel much better about it for some reason.

Went to see Fatso in his shop. He seemed in good spirits. Probably had Danny Boyle on the phone. And the miserable git actually said Goodbye as i walked out. Took his bloody temperature I tell you! He'll be smiling next!

Missed you, sweeties

The Big Day (nearly)...

This is a picture of me and how I will look at my party on Sunday. Before and After. I won't tell you which one is which. Ideally anyway, if things go to plan. Stopped worrying about the paper plates looking common. Half the room (in-laws) will think its a step down and the other half (my relatives) will see it as a step up. And how far I have come in life.

How in Gods name am I going to get all this stuff to the Town Hall? Crackers, cheese, serviettes and watnot. Let alone the 30 bottles of wine - with glasses. All of these things I never want to see again after Sunday. Well, the possiblity of wine maybe. On the dot of 12 when we're allowed in , there will be a supermarket sweep-esque rush to the main tables and with the aid of selotape and paper tablecloths (also common) we , or rather I, have half an hour to make it look approachable.

My in-laws will arrive on the dot of half past twelve, if not before. They're very early people. I've got to get a few cheeses out by then, surely! And as for that bloody cake! I can barely lift the thing!

Husband useless as usual. Who is going to supervise the cake? He asks me this morning. You are, I tell him. But i'm supervising the children, he exlaims. And you're also doing the cake as well I tell him sweetly. I paid for the thing, I paid for the parking meter outside the bakery, i carried the bloody thing to the car, the very least he can do is light a candle on it.

I know its my party but Husband has been really tight about it. I still need soft drinks and i'm going to ask him to pay for it on the credit card as opposed to my tired old switch card. And i'm going to ask him to pay his nephew for serving the wine. I cannot believe how he hasn't helped out.

My Mum will be bloody late. She always is. So she'll be useless too. What a carry on! Think I'll just get pissed.

The other night I went for a birthday supper at my mate's in London. She can't come to the party so we had an intimate supper instead. Driving back through Knightsbridge - as long as I see Harrods, i know the way back home - I realised I had been in central London more times in the last 3 months than I had for the past 10 years . I realise this was mostly due to childrearing but I constantly seem to be in this City lately. I'm bloody fed up with it.. Its alright for that stupid sod to have said A Man Who is tired of London is tired of Life. How many traffic lights did He have to go through eh? How many taxi's had cut Him up? How many places had He been ripped off at ? I tell you, he knew sod-all.

Will have Christmas then will go out in the country somewhere. Sod London.