Thank you

Lovies, Treasures, I am honoured to accept this award from my dear pal Suburbia. Bless you and thank you.

Oh no, the eyes are welling up already , the emotions are sitting tight in my throat. I am choked with kindness and love, excuse me a moment.........

Phew! Much better after that fag - I mean breath of fresh air.

This pancake day business. What a load of old shite. Now, no-one likes a bit of a pancake flip more than i do. But when the frackin' thing splashes everywhere and that eggy batter stuff lands in the neighbouring carrots ......! AND on my Laura Ashley dress....!

And then - everybody pigs out on them with sugar and lemon - and do i get one? Do i shite! The greedy buggers! I'm lucky if i get a bit of squirty cream! Common and souless I know but I love it!

Have been amazed at the number of people (husband included) who is full of wonderment that I make my own pancakes "from scratch" and not buy the ready made mixture. What a reflection of our times. I mean its only an omlette with flour in really isn't it. Why do you need to buy that shit for?

For all my swearing and smoking, i do try to serve as fresh as food as i can and cook from "scratch". At the moment I hate Tescos and them 'cos they sealed the sad fate of Woolworths so have sent them to coventry. And i've been traipsing up the local shops for eggs and bacon and fruit and veg and that. But i feel sadly alone in this venture.

There's the local grocer , I shall call him "Fatso" because he's a useless gormless lazy git but say what you like about him, he does come up with the goods. Actually he looks exactly like that fat policemen in Slumdog Millioniare. I asked him the other day if he went to the BAFTAs and what was Danny Boyle like and do you know, he just looked at me blankly. I mean the modesty of the man!

Now when i go in there , i give him a conspirital wink. He looks scared and gets his wife to serve me. Why?

Darlings....!

Bless and thank my lovely pal French Fancy for giving me this super award. And this time I was able to cut and paste the alma mater thing that goes with it. This is an achievement in itself.

"This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It’s a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.”

This is a super award and a great honour and - yes, you know whats coming - I am going to pass it on to five lucky loves out there:

(By the way, this could not be done in Hollywood or BAFTA style like last time because of all the mobs and that. They had to call the army in and everything last time. I tell you, the flak I got! So it has to be "in camera" on this occasion.

And anyway, we don't want Kate Winslett muscling in with her "Oh God, i'm so sorry" ramblings and embarassing everyone do we. This is a classy place):

The Dotterell - for being a great read and no doubt, i will be pestering him with a technical question very soon

Suburbia - my lovely lovely friend

Mean, Moody, Middle-aged Mom - What can I say? She's great

(Getting hankerchief out)

Confused Take That Fan - classy or what?

and

Liebfraumilch and Lipstick - for being a good friend and to give her something for her new home

(Breaks down - shoulders shaking, has to led out by bouncers and medical staff and everything)

(A Hits of the '70s CD is hastily put on )

Unaccustomed as I am......

Now i'm not one to boast or show off or seek publicity or anything but I have been given this lovely award on the left by Confused Take That Fan. Her blog is great, you should read it when you can, and I have been following her since i first came on here - whenever that was.

Now my Big Brother task is to award this lovely thing to eight other people and hope they don't have it already. This isn't as hard as you would think because i don't actually have that many friends (where's the violins?). It must be much harder if you have a huge following like some of you do. So without further ado, Liza Minelli will hand me that golden envelope and the winners are:

Marie and John . Their BOGOF blog inspired me to start one of my own.
When i first ever saw it on Blogspot, i was convinced they'd hired in professionals to design it.
I couldn't believe how beautifully set out it was. Now of course i'm more sophisticated and worldly but i still find it a lovely and stunning blog. And of course Marie helped me gather up courage to start one of my own.

(Big round of applause and cheers and hoots)

Suburbia for being a great and supportive friend and for listening to the Archers. And i love her and her blog to bits. Also this might give her a bit of strength at this difficult time.

(applause, hankies etc)

The Dotterel for just being great and dealing with my pestering and nosy questions on his blog.

(applause etc )

French Fancy for being lovely and entertaining and for becoming a close friend. And for taking an interest in my Caroline Charles trousers.

(applause , flowers etc)

Henry the Dog for being my new pal and keeping me in stitches. I love dogs now because of him. Every time I see any dog in a park or somewhere I start tittering as i imagine them talking like Henry.

(standing ovation etc etc)


Interval and fag break

Soo's Stuff for just being fantastic and understanding. I admire her strength and courage and of course her friendship.
(applause, tears, whoops!)


Mean Moody Middle Aged Mom, a brilliant and recent discovery and a lovely new pal. Became enthralled with her blogs and have never looked back.
(applause, sweat etc)

and finally

Leibfraumilch and Lipstick. I think Elaine has been just great and seems to have gone through a lot lately. Tho' despite that She has still given me such strong support and been a good pal.

(Dying applause as everyone rushes out for a fag, the loo etc. )

Now you are supposed to publish a paragraph about the award on your blog. Its on Confused Take That Fan's. But i can't seem to cut and paste somehow. Will get help on that. But if you're more savvy than me, then do cut and paste it and then award the prize to eight other bloggers. Think i've done that right anyway.

gosh, drained after all that. But seriously, how do you do awards? I mean can you make one up yourself? I've love to create one but knowing me it would have fags on it or something. Or someone with big breasts. Why have i become like Benny Hill? Will work on it.