Farting About

Extremely spoilt Son is going to be 10 next Monday. First of all he agreed to going to a Chelsea Match and not having a party. (Have you seen the price of those tickets??) And then we were going to have an impromptu party on the local Green (football!). And then we had a big row. Finally I booked a swimming party and to hell with the consequences.

The thing about those parties is that you literally can invite the whole world (up to 25 anyway) and can really have a good splash about and a bit of cake afterwards in the room upstairs. So it was with this in mind I am writing out nearly 20 invites.

Gave the first one to his closest friend's mum, who is also Son's childminder on certain days.
"Oh no!", she says, "is that the last Sunday of half term?"
Certainly is, I tell her, knowing whats coming.
And I was right. She is going to be in Devon for that last part of half term.
Me as patient as ever, tells her to forget it. And she exclaims that her Son will never forgive her if he misses out.
Come then, I reply , an edge to my voice.
She will never be able to make that long journey in time.
Forget it then , I say
Oh, she says , But her Son couldn't bear it if he missed it.

I walk away. She's a good woman, her hearts in the right place, she was lovely to me when Dad died (her own sadly succumbed to cancer) but God Forgive Me, she is so unbelievably scatty! You're either coming or you're not. Stop pissing about and umming and ah-ing! But how can I say that to the poor cow. I guess there's just some people in life who make things difficult for themselves.

There was a woman once in my daughter's old year who, when my mate was moving away, was asked by me if she wanted to come with us for a Goodbye drink. Well she told me at least 4 times why she couldn't come. And apparently she told my soon-to-be gone mate 3 times. And she also wanted to know how long we would be there that night in case she DID come. For Gods sake! Say Yes or you say No.

Is it me? My last born is now in year 5 so is my tolerance of scatty mothers running low? Or have they just got scattier!

Went out last night with my mate whose Dad was over from Mexico. Asked me to pick him up from where he was staying in Fulham. Just off the Munster Road she said. Well, that could have been in Carlisle for all that meant to me. Where the hell is Munster Road? She thinks I go and hang out in Fulham at weekends or something? The only time I knew Fulham was when I read Up The Junction and then it was dead rough and no-one would touch it!

Eventually found the place and picked up mate's Dad who've i've always had a semi crush on (he's gay!). Told him straight out I had no idea how to get to this resturant. Well, he directed me straight there. Some people are so good at London! I mean the man lives in Mexico for Gods sake. Although he did spend 20 years here when mate was born. Why is everyone better at London than me! Its not fair.

Had a super time tho'. Gave me a chance to get all dressed up for a change. Although he criticsed me for not wearing stillettos - bless!!