The Path to Enlightenment (via Tesco's)

Got an Alexander Technique lesson today. At the library. Free. Gonna have to nick my daughters camping mat, and wear black trousers.

Now I don't mind this, obviously. I signed up for it and everything. But also my heart sinks. Have to tidy the whole of the house before I go.

No-one's ever demanded this of me. Even when the children were little, Husband never used to say a word about the Teletubby floor puzzles and upturned beakers that greeted him when he came in. But somehow I have to.

Beds made, Shoe rack and coats tidied (a vital and underrated hallway factor), washing up and floor swept. Luckily I don't have to blacken the fireplace or clean the silver. But I like it to be nice for when kids and Husband walk in.

Think it goes back to when I was a child. My home being a shithole and that. Bed never made, lino never swept, the settee never cleared. So demoralizing to come back to. Think my mum couldn't be arsed. She never went to work or anything.

I like reading about the fifties and sixties and that. When housework really was a full-time occupation. When it was more laborious. Monday would be laundry, Tuesday ironing, Wednesday baking day, Thursday floor cleaning and Friday was polishing. Good days them!

When the children were toddlers, one day a week we would go round to my mate's who had a child of similar age. We would trash her house good and proper, and return to a serene and immaculate home. Of course it never stayed that way for long. Especially round teatime, but somehow it was soothing pshcologically. (can never spell that bloody word!).

And to return the favour, she would come round to me and do that same. Fair do's and all that.

Anyway, it would be suicidal to discover enlightenment at the local library, then come back to crusted oven dishes and that.

Will they let me smoke in there?

Time Out

Finally able to get on here. What a weekend! As i've said before, my friends' dad is over from Mexico so on Saturday I go with him and my pal to Portobello Market. Or at least I try to meet them there. Completely lose Westbourne Grove where they are waiting for me. I swore it was in the other direction. A very nice man from the Salvation Army gave me proper directions. Gave him a quid. So we were both happy.

Portobello market is magical, it really is but I would really warn people about the crowds. It was only 11 am and I could not make the few yards up the road to meet them. It was like a solid wall of people. When I finally met Mate and Dad and we went to all the antique stalls, I was reminded of why I agreed to join them. He knew nearly every antique dealer there. He had a stall here himself 20 years ago and a lot of people still remembered him! He's a bit like that - very vibrant. And it was kind of magical watching him talk intimately with these people - or at least being part of the crowd. Being included. And to see him haggling over nice pieces that he would make into jewellery back home.

I myself bought two roasting pans, 3 Oyster card holders and a bangle. Only the roasting pans were for my benefit, the other things were for kids and Husband. In the old days - well, late '80s - I would buy armfuls of those vintage dresses. None of them go near me now. It was alright when I was a mere size 14, as an 18 I can't even put them over my head. What did big women do then?

Bought some Thai Noodles off a stall and buggered off back home. Husband sulky because he hadn't had any time to himself (diddums) and kids screechy and brittle - jet lag and sugar no doubt.

Today, had a goodbye lunch with Mate, her Mum and her Dad, he was off to Mexico in the morning. Made him a cushion. He wasn't very enamoured with it - the ungrateful git! Was stuffing that thing at 11 o'clock last night! And I used my best Kath Kidson fabric, the one with the cowboys on it. I don't think he likes it if anyone else is creative. Mates' Boyfriend (an artist too) is a bit like that.

Came back to making kids' tea, changing Son's bed (there was blood on the sheets), doing a wash, sweeping the floor and will shortly be washing Daughter's hair (those bloody nits!!). It seems you have one lunch out, you pay for it dearly in blood.

Going to my Mum's tomorrow. We made it up after the row. Or rather I apologised, even if She was in the wrong - which she was. But now ironically i'd rather stay here and clean the house.
Oh well, chicken kievs for supper!

Just like a bus 2

No, the comedy did not remotely help. Did some dusting tho' and found the instructions on how to make a nail file cover (Thank God for Prima magazine I say!).

Going to have beans and jacket potato for lunch. Need all the energy I can get. Then will trudge to work for 3.15.

Oh yes, and I got the beds made!

Just like a bus....

Gosh, haven't blogged for days then along come two at once. But I guess thats what these things are for! But I don't want it to be like the old days ('70s) when I would get some lovely diary for Christmas with a lock and that and use it 3 times max!

Was going for a walk this morning. Thats all really. But did I?? did i hell?? Am I so unfit and so slothful that I can't go for one solitary walk?? No, don't answer that. Don't feel that well today actually. Don't know whether to phone in sick to The Supermarket or not. Don't want to use a "sick day" if I can help it. Want to save that for emergencies , like if one of the kids are ill or something.

Got this beautiful fabric from some posh shop in Kingston some weeks ago. Was going to make some cushions as Christmas presents. Even got the stuffing from John Lewis. And have I done it? (you know the answer to that). My mind is too distracted somehow.

AND there's housework - again! Why? Oh why?

Might listen to the comedy on Radio 4 and see how I feel after that. Better go.