Oh No She's Not!!!

Yesterday i acheived one of my ambitions. I saw Olive from On the Buses live on stage. Went with mate to the Millfield Theatre in Enfield and saw Anna Karen in the pantomime Cinderella. Sod the kids, i left them with my mum.

My heart thudded when She came on stage dressed as the wicked step mother. I hadn't felt this way since I'd seen Sooty "in the flesh". I wanted to burst into rapturous applause - it was Olive for Gods sake, did n't these people understand this? Well of course they didnt'. They were nearly all under 3 ft. But the worse thing was some of those parents wouldn't know On The Buses either. There were lots of gags about Eastenders where she played Peggy Mitchell's sister but the real core of her allure - eg Stan and Jack - was bypassed.

She looked beautiful actually. Didn't remotely resemble that down trodden wife who was married to Arthur and related to Stan. But to me she will always be Olive.

Cinderella was boring and Dandini and the Prince were camper than the ugly sisters. I thought girls played the prinicpal boys. In fact i'm sure they do. Buttons was quite good, if not a bit fat. Me and mate booed everyone (quietly) except for Olive.

In the interval outside in the pouring rain havin a fag, a theatrical looking lady asked me for a light. I advised her to take it from the end of my fag as she would never get a lighter to work in this wind. I apologised for this common way of lighting up. She smiled with blood red lips - This is panto, darling - she said. I didn't really get it.

My mate was there. His brother was playing one of the ugly sisters. He scrounged an ice-cream off me, the greedy git. Then he went back to his group of mates. When this mate was a professional actor, his pals were really nice people. Even the bitchy screaming old queens were quite sweet. But since he'd turn Semi-pro, his group of amateur chums are really unfriendly and only talk to you if you're "important". Whenever i meet a nice mate of his i instantly know they're professional. Interesting!

Supposed to be going to church today. don't know whether to or not. will think about it. Desperate to ask "olive" what she felt about Reg Varney's recent departure.

A true Portrait

Hello

do you like this recent photo of me?

This is the look I have aspired to after watching On The Buses at 13.

Everyone was always rotten about Olive. I thought she was fabulous and wanted to grow up to be a "clippie" and look like her. And flirt with people like Jack and Stan. And they were all such a close knit family that had lots of laughs - even that miserable Arthur. I wanted to be part of a family like that.

They're desperate for women bus drivers now apparently. They are very under-represented. Good money too and flexible shifts. Still not the same as being a clippie though with a short skirt. Not that I could wear those now.

Have been doing some decorating on my page. What fun this all is! Why didn't anyone tell me before?

Wanted to post the images of Peter and Jane. Have always been fond of them. When Harry Wingfield, a main illustrator of those books, died, they said several grown women claimed to be the original Jane. But it was indicated he invented everything - the people, the shops etc.

I bought a load of those Ladybird books from a local jumble sale when Daughter was a baby and I swear, I mean really swear, she learnt to read by them. When she was 3. I really believe they made her a quick and natural reader, like they did for me.

Son hardly looked at them and reading always comes difficult for him. So that proves my theory a bit.

No work today. Last night on the checkout, I was so hungry. And someone had left a pork pie behind - it was under the carrier bags. Some poor customer must have paid for it and left it there. I wasn't going to put it back. Someone had paid The Supermarket for it, why should they have it back on their shelves. So when my shift finished, I took it to the lockers with me. But terrified of random searches when you leave the building, I started eating the evidence on my way out. Waving to the security guard, the poor sap!!

Its Meet The Teacher today after school. Any Mother knows its quite boring and there's always some bloody parent who will ask a long-winded and rehtorical question. So will look in for 10 minutes as I have never met this bloke teacher before. My eyes glaze over after that. Its not nearly the same as Parent/Teacher consultations. Year 5 is a bit of a rotten year. You don't go on a trip like in year 4 and you don't have the privilliges like you do in year 6. You're just a bored bolshy 10 year old. And that awful cynism has seemed to set in with my Son. Everythings "wierd" or "boring" or something.

Well, cigarrettes don't smoke themselves! Better go