What the......

Husband had a day's holiday today. He announces he's off to Westfield Shopping Centre. I nearly dropped my fag. He hates shopping! Oh, he'll go to Tescos and that but not "frilly" type shopping. Not the kind of shopping I know. Two shirts at M&S every 6 months and thats it for him.

I got it out of him that there was a big Foyles there. But there's one near Charing Cross, my words silently told him.

And do you know what he came back with? A Nintendo Wii Fit! Well, I had a bloody fit too I can tell you. What in Gods name does a 47 year old man want with a Wii Fit? £70 from HMV he announces proudly. I didn't mention the earache i would have got if i'd spent that amount on stuff for the kids.

I mean what planet is he on? We are on the verge of moving house and spending vast sums trying to stay in the area. So much so, that we are using my semi-inheritance towards it. (Sod the kids future). The credit card is near its limit and there is a thing called a Credit Crunch.
But not where we live obviously....the silly bloody sod! Nintendo Wii shit more like!

Where's that List?

Well, my day has turned successfully to shit. Bit of a bad start with a trip to the Vet this morning . Got presented with a £346 bill !!
A continuation of all the tests and shots from the last time Vet explains sweetly - oh, and a shot from this visit too. Rose had a fever - again! Otherwise he was happy with her! Oddly tho', Husband was far from happy when i gave him the bill - can't think why. Rosie lay on the vets table and purred. Well, she wasn't paying was she!

Estate Agent round here at 4 o'clock on the dot! The cheeky bugger had done a valuation already! It was all printed down on their paper. I could have extended this place into a 5 bedroomed utopia for all he knew - the presuming git. Anyway, devastated, £275,000 tops he reckons. A similiar hovel to this one down the road went for £300,000 something 2 years ago AND it didn't have a driveway like us. Still, that was 2 years ago - could well have been 200 years ago with this economic climate.

But on a good note, there's a super house nearby for sale that i've had my eye on for ages that they're representing that could well take a lesser asking price - according to assuming estate agent anyway.
So God knows. But depressed. And got another agent tomorrow - are they going to shatter my world too. I'll just offer up my wrists and give them a knife.

And then, and then, when i was battling with cooking a pasta pie (which incidentally tasted like shit!) my mate Peter, who i was going to see Slumdog Millionare with tonight, bloody phones and blows me out. At 20 past 5! I was expecting him at bloody 6! I was tarted up and everything! He had a free ticket for Mandi Patinkin instead. Bastard! I hope he sits behind someone with a big hat or a column!

My mate Peter is lovely ,he really is. I've known him since 1975 from college. And despite him being a selfish little git, i loved him and was his devoted friend. The years in-between, his selfishness thinned out but in the last 2 years or so, it has come back full force. Is it that you're selfish when you're young, then you get a bit more considerate in the next 3 decades, then approaching 50 your disregard for your friends comes back in full force! Especially ones you've known for 34 years! I mean, sod him.

Am going to really sulk tonight. And smoke and drink!

Another Kind of List

Well, the fun's over, the last balloon has burst, the last bottle has been necked etc. Now its time for action. The Bastard List will have to be shelved (will miss it so much!) and there is a new list to be made.

Well, when i say that, i mean the list carried over from last week actually. The remaining items that were supposed to be done by friday. And the item next to sugarsoaping the walls is Estate Agents. Three of them to get a valuation. Either we have outgrown this house or it has outgrown us. Don't know. Too tired to argue. Just get them round and see what its worth.

I know you hear about Estate Agents closing down and being stripped bare and that - but not where i live. They still charge extraordinary prices for not very much. Its still £700,000 for a terraced house with an attic conversion. They still basically take the piss. So whats to stop them laughing their heads off when they come round to this hovel. But then we've got to start somewhere. We can't keep bumping into each other in the squalid hallway.

And thats what i feel this house is: Squalid. And dark. And dingy. And i've got to clean like Billy-O. Especially that bathroom! Lordy! Having a panic attack just thinking about it. Better light up. Only thats another thing - 7 years of fag smoke has penetrated the walls. It didn't matter when we were so happy here, we didn't care how it stunk.

Son walked off to school this morning tearful and wretched. He didn't seem particularly hot or ill so i still sent him. I just think he had a bad night. He texted me twice on the way which i still find extraordinarly bizzare. I can't get with this modern stuff. I mean David Copperfield when he was sent to that horrible strict boarding school and his mother was in tears - did he text her? Or Billy Bunter ? Or Jennings? What did these school kids do without them? Son looked so vunerable in his Chelsea hat, i nearly crumbled.

And yes, get colour laser copies for my cards. Can do that today or that will be another shadow hangin over me. And hoover the living room, get that pesky cat off the sofa!

Unaccustomed as I am......

Now i'm not one to boast or show off or seek publicity or anything but I have been given this lovely award on the left by Confused Take That Fan. Her blog is great, you should read it when you can, and I have been following her since i first came on here - whenever that was.

Now my Big Brother task is to award this lovely thing to eight other people and hope they don't have it already. This isn't as hard as you would think because i don't actually have that many friends (where's the violins?). It must be much harder if you have a huge following like some of you do. So without further ado, Liza Minelli will hand me that golden envelope and the winners are:

Marie and John . Their BOGOF blog inspired me to start one of my own.
When i first ever saw it on Blogspot, i was convinced they'd hired in professionals to design it.
I couldn't believe how beautifully set out it was. Now of course i'm more sophisticated and worldly but i still find it a lovely and stunning blog. And of course Marie helped me gather up courage to start one of my own.

(Big round of applause and cheers and hoots)

Suburbia for being a great and supportive friend and for listening to the Archers. And i love her and her blog to bits. Also this might give her a bit of strength at this difficult time.

(applause, hankies etc)

The Dotterel for just being great and dealing with my pestering and nosy questions on his blog.

(applause etc )

French Fancy for being lovely and entertaining and for becoming a close friend. And for taking an interest in my Caroline Charles trousers.

(applause , flowers etc)

Henry the Dog for being my new pal and keeping me in stitches. I love dogs now because of him. Every time I see any dog in a park or somewhere I start tittering as i imagine them talking like Henry.

(standing ovation etc etc)


Interval and fag break

Soo's Stuff for just being fantastic and understanding. I admire her strength and courage and of course her friendship.
(applause, tears, whoops!)


Mean Moody Middle Aged Mom, a brilliant and recent discovery and a lovely new pal. Became enthralled with her blogs and have never looked back.
(applause, sweat etc)

and finally

Leibfraumilch and Lipstick. I think Elaine has been just great and seems to have gone through a lot lately. Tho' despite that She has still given me such strong support and been a good pal.

(Dying applause as everyone rushes out for a fag, the loo etc. )

Now you are supposed to publish a paragraph about the award on your blog. Its on Confused Take That Fan's. But i can't seem to cut and paste somehow. Will get help on that. But if you're more savvy than me, then do cut and paste it and then award the prize to eight other bloggers. Think i've done that right anyway.

gosh, drained after all that. But seriously, how do you do awards? I mean can you make one up yourself? I've love to create one but knowing me it would have fags on it or something. Or someone with big breasts. Why have i become like Benny Hill? Will work on it.

Redundant

Well, Son has swanned off for school again on his own. Seems to be loving every minute of it - keeping me informed by his mobile of his exact movements. have to keep the phone in my dressing gown pocket so i don't miss his call. It does seem strange and grown-up that he phones me, it really does. Whatever did we do without those mobile things?

But it brings me to a revelation. I am redundant. Always envied those mothers saying goodbye to their children in a dressing gown in films where they get on the school bus and that. But i was naive then, i did not realise it would be the end of an era.

Had to absolutely force myself to get out of the house yesterday. Otherwise the inertia would take me over. Made myself make the beds and sweep the floor. Its strange it can be done at a lesuirely pace and not sandwiched between the Archers and school pick-up. Its strange to leave the house knowing that sort of thing is done and not leaving everything in a disarray. In a cloud of PE bags and shouting at him to get in the car.

I don't know how people can work from home, i really don't. I mean i'm all for it and everything, i think its a good thing but however do they get the discipline to do it? Without something set out and planned. This is a strange new chapter.

Whatever did my mum use to do when i walked to and from school at that extraordinarily early age? I must ask her. But a lot of the women up our road were full time mums then and i think she was always popping into their houses for a cup of tea. And they were always popping into hers. God knows what they found to talk about.

Have planned to send copies of my xmas cards to greeting companies. Have i done it yet? Was going to look into being a freelance writer. Have i ......well, you get the picture. If only i could be like my Cat, only has to worry about where her next Go Cats are coming from! See above photo of the lazy little sod. I wish i could join her.

A Milestone

Am i cold or what? Toes curled into each other as i type. And this is a warm house generally. I suppose its drafts and that.

A milestone in my 10 year old's life. He wants to walk to school on his own. Aside from the fact that although he's year 5 now, he 's a little too young, we also live some way from the school (that's a church place for you). But he's determined. So as a compromise, I dropped him off half-way this morning and he walked the rest of the distance. I sneakily drove by him and he looked so young and vunerable walking along swinging his PE bag and lunchbox. Anorack half-off, rugby gloves and Chelsea hat precariously in the balance. It almost broke my heart as well as being frightened for him.

Yet it was an irrational fear really. Its a busy high street, the road full of kids walking to school on their own, there were no spooky country lanes or dark woods. My Mum commented on what a shame it was you had to be so frightened these days. She says this because SHE sent me to school on my own when i was in year One. But in fairness nearly all the kids did then. And you went to the nearest school, none of this "what's a good school ?" nonsense.

And there was more spooky alleyways to go through and Myra Hindley had just been put away. So people were reeling from this dreadful shock that a woman could do such a thing. There really should have been just as much paranoia as today but somehow there wasn't.

Have insisted on picking him up from school still but it'll come to it he'll want to walk home too. Sigh!

What are these things called??

Got so badly bitten on the arse last night. Then in the upper part of my leg. These bloody sheets! That bloody cat! Or are they bed bugs? Not cat fleas? don't know what to call them for my Bastard list, will just put Bugs. Got Husband to change the sheets this morning. My poor bloody leg!

Can't go to my Mum's today, she's having her hair done apparently. Tho' I noticed she still had time to see my Brother. (She let that one slip out!). Sod her, had a normal Saturday at home.
Not used to being here on Saturdays as I'm always the other side of the M25 seeing my ungrateful next of kin. So I wasn't sure what a normal Saturday was really.

I mean really, Mum's next door neighbour is permanently crestfallen because her daughter in Cheltenham never has a "window " for her. And her close friend is often in tears because her daughter in Dagenham never even phones. And then there's Her who has a daughter begging to see her. ...... what an unfair world it is.

Made a cushion and sorted out ironing while listening to Tom & Viv on the Radio 4 Listen again page. It was a really sad play about T S Elliot and this poor rich cow who married him. "The Wastelands' rubbish!" I was shouting out. I didn't know he was American. But at least the silly sod could write. I'd love to write a play.

Took daughter to a sleepover and Son has someone over to stay with him. The devastating news of the day is that this stupid looking bloke is the new Doctor Who. I wanted it to be that black guy - Alan Johnson in Peep Show - and he was in the Survivors too. So he's obviously used to adventures and that. But no, it has to be this pretty looking one. So unfair! Husband is devastated , so was the Dad who brought over the mate. Our World is very small really.

Watched Celebrity Big Brother - had only heard of 3 of them - but like Terry Christian and Mini Me. That Scottish politician was bloody good looking when he was younger - there was old footage of him protesting against the poll tax. What a nice bit of stuff!

And Big Mo was there from Brookside. She looks a nasty bit of work. Might tune in and watch or might read my Deborah Moggah book i got from the charity shop. I tell you its all turmoil and decisions with me - that T S Elliot didn't know he was born. Did he do Murder in the Catherdral as well? Because that was a load of old shit too. I'd put him on my Bastard List if it wasn't so full up!