Whatever is that awful thing on the TV? Like this advert thing, and this tall willowy girl talks into her little television screen, and asks it if it will rain today? And this Thing talks back to her.
I mean, wouldn't that machine say: Look out of the window like everyone else, or buy a newspaper with the forecast, you lazy mare!
The silly cow don't even have to buy one. She could wait hours outside Richmond station, like me, for a free Evening Standard! Never did Me any harm!
And like this bloke is waiting at a football or rugby game, asking his own gadget "has my brother left yet?"
If I was that thing, I would say : look love, your brother's never going to amount to anything, is he? So there's no point in him leaving the house really.
Or at the very least, it should say : You've got a mobile phone haven't you, you silly sod, phone him yourself. Lazy git!
It's extraordinary this instant type thing. When I actually liked a pop record recently in the Hit Parade, Husband and kids put these little screens in my face with the same said song!
What's wrong with listening to 14 hours of Simon Bates, waiting for this song to come up?
Or getting one of these new-fangled cassettes, inserting it into the machine, and sitting down to the Top Twenty? Admittedly you had to trawl through some real dogs before you get the song you want, but I still don't think this instant thing is all that really.
Ten past one? Sod this! Time for my lunch !