Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Eye of a Needle

Have such a stinking cold, my brothers. Fate is a very cruel mistress indeed.

Have been taking Aspro Clear like it was lemondade and now they've given me the shits. I was telling Son's teacher about my tummy antics just this morning. And do you know, Brothers, I suspect he has the same symptons as me. He kept clearing his throat and had an uncomfortable expression on his face:
"...through the eye of a needle ", I explained
"....yes, mrs Smith, now about Son's algebra...."

Me and education just do not mix. I don't mean just the fancy book-learning stuff either. There was an insufferable 9 months when I was a dinner lady - sorry, I mean SMSA - and do you know, my working space was full of kids! I couldn't talk to the other SMSA's about Big Brother or periods or anything. Some bloody kid was always interupting us blithering on about scraping knees and that. And whenever I suggested a bloody good cuff round the ear, they would look at me funny!

And now I'm back in the frying pan. Just when I thought it was safe to walk by a school. The Invigillators reach out and get me. Yes, I've applied for that at Daughter's school. I thought you only needed 'em for "O" levels in June and that was that! I mean , there's no sixth form!

No, they have them all over the bloody place! And then this lady kept talking about modules. I mean this isn't bloody Brunel university. Anyway, the poor cow needs hundreds of invigilators apparently.

I have hazy memories of my Maths teacher invigilating several exams and smoking a fag under the desk. Even in those very politically incorrect times of 1974, smoking was still not allowed. His fingers were as yellow as the sun. The only person I would swear blind died of smoking. The only one I would concede to anyway.

But no, these teachers can't do it anymore, they need someone like me. They prefer Mums apparently. Well, I haven't even said I'd do it yet - and I remember that when I became a dinner lady. They don't actually offer you a job, they just assume you're doing it. And this lady is sending me on a course without a bye or leave. Did anyone see those invigillators on Armstrong and Miller? Thats what I want to do.

Whoops! Son and Dad back. Gotta go xxx


Suburbia said...

I thought about doing that job but fear I may fall asleep through boredom! Does it pay well???

Sorry you are poorly


Jennysmith said...

Hello my sweet, yes, I had visions of happily going out for a fag and reading a bodice-ripper and texting but apparently (according to my mate) thats a no-no.

£10 an hour apparently. Assuming there is a minimum of 3 hours each exam - so not bad.

Thank you for your sweet wishes
Hope you are well xxx

Woman In The Midst: Raw said...

I hope you're feeling better soon and good luck with that new job.. Sounds lovely.. Lol..

Has the swine flu hit there? They're closing schools here..

French Fancy said...

Shame about the cold but I've got one too so we can feel sorry for ourselves together.

Kate said...

Hello, my first visit and I like it here!!!
Try co-codamol - it has the opposite effect but then again, I don't know which is worse really.
Oh I remember when they grabbed me at my kids school.... i ended up being a governor... loads of hard work, and unpaid at that(?) BUT I was interviewing the new teachers and helping make decisions that made the kids lives better! No regrets!
Kate www.iramble.co.uk

Polly said...

Don't do it.

Rebel Mother said...

Ha! You make me laugh! A good cuff round the ear never hurt anyone. Do you remember dodging those brick chalk rubbers the teacher would throw at you if you werent paying attention? Stink bombs going off, fags behind the bike sheds?

Oh happy days....you might find the work a bit boring now!


Jennysmith said...

How sweet, WITMR, thank you for your good wishes. There was a bit of a hysteria about swine flu and a couple of schools closed down (the fee paying ones I noticed!) but now they just send you home and recommend Tammy flu tablets.

I went to Mexico once. And I'm not really surprised about swine flu.

Poor FF, same boat as me. Lets rest together (in spirit) Hope you feel better

Kate, how lovely, welcome. Yes, Governors work extraordinarily hard - with no thanks or pay. Glad you like it here. Your blog is super too. And i LOVE your cat.

You're right, Polly, an' I'm teetering on the edge!

RM, yes, never did me any harm. They'd thank you for it one day. After the court case and everything.......


Chairman Bill said...

I never got an O-level in June. Is it a difficult subject? Can you divide it into 1st to 15th and 15th to 30th?