What Time is it now?

Well, its been a long week. And only Thursday already!

Have sneaked out to the library to print some things off my memory stick - only to find the informations' not there! What have I done This time?
Was really stressed and hot in this subdued and closed in room so lit a fag. Do you know they gave me really dirty looks!

Husband off this week as well as the kids - so thats made it more stressful than ever. Doesn't he see that its too much ? And don't think he's any help either - he always wants a lie-down or is always moaning. I know that sounds a bit mean but from having the house to myself, I've suddenly got the 3 of them there!

And he's mad. I would have taken the time off when the kids were at school! Anyway told him I wanted to go out for a couple of hours. And now the fracking memory stick won't do it - whatever its supposed to do, that is.

Half terms are funny things. At least for me. You make preparations for the actual holidays but this funny week stuck in the middle can get you by surprise. I remember such lonely half terms: the one in 1973 was probably the stinkiest. Went to a party on Saturday at my mates, got off with a boy (one snog) and then the rest of the week went dead. No friends about, not one word from The Boy, nothing. Spent it laying on my bed and a trip to the library - bit like now really.

And then there was a terrible one in 1976, that terrifying heatwave around the corner, and likewise I lay on the bed all frackin' week. What a miserable cow, why do i only remember the stinky ones. I'm sure there were some good ones too - I think........

Slum Landlords

Nothing to say these last few days really. Just been buried in hopelessness.

Went to Fatso's for sympathy about the house. Told him all about my crushed dreams and disappointments. He looked at me intently. Some would say blankly.
"You want carrier bag?" he said in the end.

This was the only kind of comfort he knew how to give.

I walked out the shop, shoulders hunched.

Go the young Poles' shop next door thats quite good for vegetables and that.

"You have room?", he says to me
"Do what?", I say
"You know room I can rent?"
What? I'm Rackman now am I?

If I wasn't a better person I would say: yeah, I've got a house round the corner going for £269,999 but we're open to offers!!
Instead I merely said: "Where are you living now?"
"Its ok," he replied, "I'm married."

Well, for fracks sake.

That afternoon a woman from Northern Ireland made an offer on the house.

Screw you Copper....!

Sacked the worry dolls. Told 'em I was kicking their arses all the way back to Mexico.
Phoned the Home Office - didn't know what to do about deportation. They told me they were up to their eyes in it and to go to my local copshop and give those idle sods in blue something to do for a change. "Crime won't crack itself", they chortled as they put the phone down.

After handing the dolls in over the desk, the Policeman told me it could be a few years in "chokey" for me for harbouring illegal immigrants. I said You'll never take me alive, copper and legged it as fast as I could. They gave chase in their police cars. Regan and Carter in one and Gene Hunt in another. Luckily I managed to dog them before I got to the bus stop.

Apparently the dolls made an appeal - something to do with swine flu. They are in temporary accomodation in Harlesden - and they told me I was a "marked" woman now.

Husband said would I like to give it a few weeks before we have viewers round again. Was I up to it? I told him I wasn't Miss Haversham! The silly sod! I'm not ill! Of course I want bloody viewers round.

Off now to the park with my cappucino and fag. Going to think about Life. Better go in disguise.

What a week...!

What a week this has been, my readers and only friends:

On Wednesday, Son didn't get through the football trials and today, our Buyers have pulled out. Made redundant - what sort of excuse is that? Their Lenders have immediately withdrawn their offer.

We have lost at least 1500 quid and we've got to go back to viewers tramping all over the fracking house. And of course, our dream home, a quarter of a mile away is sailing out to sea as I write.

Oddly enough, according to our gutted Estate Agents, the original builder of this house has also had a property fall through today. He is going to tell him about this one. But whyever would the bloke want to come back? He built it in 1985, thats it for him, isn't it.

AND I've got to work all weekend at that fracking rugby stadium! It doesn't bear thinking about. Oh Lordy!

Have any of our readers got a worse weekend than this one? A Superkings fag will go out to the most grimest and miserable of prospects.

Heard on Jeremy Vine that some MPs may consider suicide after this scandal about living expenses and second homes and that. So things aren't all bad...........

Forgive me....

Treasures, forgive me for not appearing on here recently. How I've missed my loyal mates. I sort of lost my way last week. I kind of floated and didn't get anywhere. Walking in Space - wasn't that a song in the musical Hair?

Been working at that wretched rugby ground shop. There's been a match virtually every weekend. And last week, 2nd May, I had a bit of a spat with the supervisor, left me feeling wretched all last week.

Have always had a good relationship with this woman but since she's got her best mate a supervisor's job too, she's been a nightmare. I don't know why. Its like we're back in school and she can act Big when her mate's around. Or its like at my kid's school, when an angelic little girl can be a bitch when she pairs up with the class show-off. Anyway, complained didn't I. By e-mail, the cowardly way. But it didn't stop me feeling bullied and wretched.

Spent the week pacing around, wondering whether to quit or not. I took my turmoil to church the next day. Did i get peace of mind? did I shite! 3 christenings that day! There wasn't room for inner sanctum! That idle bloody vicar! Go back to doing 'em in the afternoons!!! Not sure that man's ever been ordained!

Not much else to report. Bought some wooden coat hangers from John Lewis. Its my dream to one day have a warderobe and cupboard full of wooden ones - making the nasty metal and plastic hangers a thing of the past. They laughed at me - told me it couldn't be done - but I'll show them! I'll prove them wrong one day! Then who'll be laughing then, eh?

Er - thats enough ambition for now.

Bloody Doctors ........

Sneezing and coughing this week, have a hell of a chest (ooer!). Convinced its Swineflu - tho' my mate suspects its Wine flu. But she doesn't understand. I was too scared to tell her I went to Mexico in 1994, I am potentially at risk.

They were bloody filthy over there. They boil their kettles with the hot tap and they sneeze without putting their hand to their mouths. And God knows what else - i was too afraid to look. And I reckon this has all crept up on me slowly!

Took Son to the doctor yesterday because of his (nit-free) itchy head. Didn't want it to get all painful and inflamed like mine did. Appointment was 9 am and despite a quiet surgery with two patients waiting, we still didn't get to see the old cow until a quarter to ten. Right in the middle of Son's head consultation, her phone rings and she tells us to wait back outside. 10 minutes we were bloody stuck there till she called us back in. I really had the hump by then. Had a go at the old bitch. Its been chaotic today, she said by way of explanation.

Now listen, i've worked in Tescos, i've seen and experienced chaotic. There was nothing remotely chaotic in that tin-pot surgery and i suspect the old whore took a personal call. Wrote a bloody letter to the practise manager and gave it in today. Get the old bag struck off! If nothing else, it'll give the cow a kick up the arse. Bitch.

Going now. Hungry.