Thursday, 5 November 2009

Eye of the Tiger !

A quick burst on here today, brothers, between fags. Because its that time of year again, isn't it. At least for Son anyway. Its the frackin' bloody 11+ exam. The one where millions of kids try to all get in one school.

Daughter went through this shit and didn't get in. In fact, she bombed it. And yes, loads and loads of heartbreak followed. In fact, it was that that got me blogging and everything. I needed to tell people. But thats all behind us now and she goes to a super girls school down the road and that. So when Son came up for secondary school, we did not want to go through all that shit again and planned to put him down for the comprehensive where all his mates are going. I mean they have sport and maths and shit, don't they? I wanted an easier ride this time.

But oh no, Son wanted to try and get into that bloody school, didn't he. That unobtainable building six miles away. And Stupid here listened to all the advice - it would be a lot crueller if you didn't let him take it, you shouldn't deny him the experience - I should have said Bollocks but didn't. Got on the phone to Daughter's old tutor and it all went from there.

But even then, it seemed safely far away. But not now! Early December in fact. Oh Bloody hell! He won't get in! Unless they have a special exam for kids who do no bloody work - he will never do it. And I'm gonna go through this heartbreak again!

And it does matter, you know. You can tell yourself what you bloody well like - it does matter!

As Liza Minnelli once said about the Oscars - when they're opening that golden envelope, it matters!

Have ordered a hundred fags from Fatso to be collected on that date. That woke the old git up I tell you! And have booked a triple cappaccino from the nearest outlet.

This is a vital time. Why won't he do any work? Why can't it be like Rocky 2 where the wife in hospital tells Rocky she wants him to win? And he goes out training in Philledelphia and all these kids follow him up the stairs and that? Why can't that happen with Son? (Bloody good film that!)

Well thats it. Time for my fag - and my hands are throbbing..


Stigmum said...

Blimey mrs, can relate although nipper is a long way from all that. Can I suggest praying? A la Janis Joplin? You may know the one: "Oh lord will you get my boy the school that he wants etc etc"

I sing her daily, in regard to something else entirely. Of course it's not worked yet but it might, it might...

In the meantime, enjoy the smokes. One thing we can at least rely on! x

Woman In The Midst: Raw said...

For his sake and your sanity I hope he gets in! Keep us posted!

Chairman Bill said...

If I were you I'd claim I lived in Harrow or Eton and apply to the local comprehensives. Didn't Cammeron go to one or t'other?

Argentum Vulgaris said...

I just nominated you for an award, go over and pick it up:



French Fancy said...

I feel your parental pain. Thank goodness the bichons don't have to be educated.

Jennysmith said...

Bless you Loves for listening to my tale of woe, had a meltdown moment yesterday morning.

Yes, Stig, keep them small for as long as possible before this shit happens. And yes, we'll light up together.

WITMR, thank you for your support. Lovely to see you.

Gosh, CB, not sure I want Son to become like that chinless wonder. And FF, yes, i should have stuck to dogs or cats. having a cat is brilliant - no bloody homework or 11+ stuff.

Thank you AV, I am honoured. Gosh your page is like a wonderful deep cave full of treasure, there's always something new to find. who was that brat who found such a thing? Didn't he have Robin Williams with him or something? Anyway bless you.


Rebel Mother said...

We went through all the school crap last year for Olly, and now we're going through it again this year with Amber.

If I never hear or see another school again, I shall be a very happy woman!!!!!

It is painful, but, hang in there, you never know, he may get in. If not, then he goes to the one with his mates.

Have a fag hon. Here....have one of mine. Life is too stressful.

Love RMxx

Polly said...

Jen it sounds horrendous. Hope he gets in and saves you a mountain of pain.