Thursday, 12 November 2009


Been up Richmond, haven't I. The one in Surrey. What a one horse town! I mean, don't get me wrong, if its culture you're after then you're laughing all the way to the - er - programme seller but otherwise what a load of old shit. Anyway it was the scene of a dilema, o brothers.

Had five minutes between Snappy Snaps and Robert Dyas. And had to choose between getting strawberries for the kids (from Waitrose) or a fag by the car park. Oh it was agony! Which one was it to be? I was torn in half, o my brothers, quite literally torn in half.

It was like one of those On the Road films with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby where a little old lady with a harp is on one of Bob Hopes' shoulder and a devil is on the other. And he can't decide what to do! The old lady sternly told me I cannot fob off the kids with a chocolate cookie for dessert again, it was time for fresh fruit! Meanwhile old Nick was tellin me the joys of inhaling that smoke by the A316. I was broken, brothers, just broken.

I like to think I eventually made the fair and right decision. And anyway Waitrose fruit is a complete rip-off.

Had to really smoke a lot this morning. It was Victorian day for year 6 and Son was going as a chimney sweep and was desperate for ash to put on his face. Well, I was happy to oblige. I told you smoking is good for you!


Heather said...

Just think of all the washing you saved yourself. My two can't eat strawberries (well anything really)without covering themselves and anything within reaching distance in the stuff. and it doesn't wash out that easily either.

French Fancy said...

Your poor deprived children - having to make do with chocolate cookies. Bloody lucky if you ask me - beats fruit anyday.

Rebel Mother said...

Smoke yourself thin! Dont need food.

Chocolate cookies are delish!

Mmmm, may have to raid the cupboard now, I'm sure I have a secret stash somewhere.

Love, your cookie-scoffing, RMxx

The Crap Blog Detective said...

Smoking is a dying art

The bad army wife said...

hahaha I laughed till my belly hurt with your last comment!

Suburbia said...

Hee hee, hope his day went well and that he appreciated your sacrifice! ;)

Rebel Mother said...

Me again!

Award for you at mine.

Love RMxx

Polly said...

Who needs fruit. Chocolate is always the better option.

disa said...