Thursday, 8 April 2010

Bloody Kids!

Well, my brothers, the rot has truly set in. The long Easter break is taking its toll. And there's another bloody week to go yet!

Daughter (13) gave it to me straight this morning! I awoke her at the crack of dawn (a quarter to nine), the sun streaming in, and reminded her we were going shopping at Kingston today. Well, that was it! What a tongue-lashing Yours Truly received. "You're such a bad mother!" was one of them, I think. "Why am I never allowed to sleep?" was another.

My little girl. In the thick of adolesence. Going through that horrible gangly awkward phase that I remember so razor-sharply, o my brothers. I treated her torment with consideration and sensitivity. I shut the door on the little cow and went downstairs for a fag. Bollocks to her!
Went by me bloody self! Bought some black trousers!

Then Son. In the front room. Television blasting, him covered in a blanket, watching in that dead-eyed fashion youngsters do. A crushed packet of crisps by his side. How I hate this Homer Simpson thing that he does, o' my brothers. That Bill Clinton was spot on! How I would love to see a little John-Boy Walton out there, enjoying this sudden burst of sunshine.

I wouldn't mind but he's only 11! He's not even in adolesence yet! At least Daughter has an excuse!

Mum sounded very humble on the phone. So she bloody should! But its too late. She's not getting another tablecloth out of me! Rather make it for my mother-in-law! Yes, thats how bad it is!

Time for fag .


French Fancy said...

I hope your mum was doubly sorry - first for giving you the titchy egg and secondly for spurning the lovely tablecloth.

Good on you for getting yourself something new.


Argentum Vulgaris said...

At least i get on with my Mum, but I can share your anguis because I have seen it in other families.

9am - crack of dawn, cracked me up.

Always time for a fag!


Marie and John said...

I must have had a real strict upbringing as, teenage hormones or not, I wouldn't have dared say anything like that to my mam.

Agree with you on your mam business. She had her chance, but she blew it.


Kate said...

Never mind - one day they will be grown up and off your hands. And your Mum - well she should be more careful - she may need you one day!!!
I'm glad you went on your own and bought something - try being just a little selfish and see if anything changes?

Chairman Bill said...

Stop their food!

Stigmum said...

You made me laugh out loud yet again! Consideration and sensitivity - I love it!! Fags always my saviour too! Hooray for the black trousers, you deserve it, and more!! xxx

Suburbia said...

I am SO with you here. Feeling guilty I am not 'entertaining' my 2 today but whatever I suggest they turn their noses up!

OMG, another week of it yet!

Jennysmith said...

Treasures, your comments are a breath of mountain air! thank you all.

I am mortified at my ignorance tho'. It was not Bill Clinton at all! It was bloody George Bush (the first one) who made that statement about Simpsons and Waltons. Funny, would have sworn that was clinton!

So sorry, loves xxxxx

Tracey said...

Unfortunatly i have no Mum but thankfully i chose not to have children.. Glad i'm not in your shoes mate ;-)

Tracey said...

Unfortunatly i have no Mum any longer but thankfully i chose not to have children.. Glad i'm not in your shoes mate ;-)

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