Well, my brothers, the rot has truly set in. The long Easter break is taking its toll. And there's another bloody week to go yet!
Daughter (13) gave it to me straight this morning! I awoke her at the crack of dawn (a quarter to nine), the sun streaming in, and reminded her we were going shopping at Kingston today. Well, that was it! What a tongue-lashing Yours Truly received. "You're such a bad mother!" was one of them, I think. "Why am I never allowed to sleep?" was another.
My little girl. In the thick of adolesence. Going through that horrible gangly awkward phase that I remember so razor-sharply, o my brothers. I treated her torment with consideration and sensitivity. I shut the door on the little cow and went downstairs for a fag. Bollocks to her!
Went by me bloody self! Bought some black trousers!
Then Son. In the front room. Television blasting, him covered in a blanket, watching in that dead-eyed fashion youngsters do. A crushed packet of crisps by his side. How I hate this Homer Simpson thing that he does, o' my brothers. That Bill Clinton was spot on! How I would love to see a little John-Boy Walton out there, enjoying this sudden burst of sunshine.
I wouldn't mind but he's only 11! He's not even in adolesence yet! At least Daughter has an excuse!
Mum sounded very humble on the phone. So she bloody should! But its too late. She's not getting another tablecloth out of me! Rather make it for my mother-in-law! Yes, thats how bad it is!
Time for fag .