Sunday, 27 February 2011

Erm.....

Come back, haven't I. Had to cut away at the overgrown grass and weeds to get through here, but I made it! The windows are all smeared and there are cobwebs everywhere. It was an effort to pull back the dust infested curtains - nearly catching them alight on the flames in the fireplace.

Been writing my buggering book. It's shit! - I think. And even if it wasn't, can't let no-one read it until everyone in my family dies (my mum and brother and that) because they would quite literally have my guts for garters if they read what I've written about THEM. Not that they haven't deserved it of course! I think. Anyway, Salmon Rushdie thought HE had it tough with mobs trying to lynch him - wait till he sees MY brother and kids in action - I tell you! My book is far more interesting than that Satanic Verses by the way. Don't know why he went to all that bother to be honest.

Been brutally rejected by Woman's Weekly - again! No lifeline there. Even my beauty tips are getting the cold shoulder - not by Them tho'. My writing career is as dust! Just dust! I am truly washed up!

Went to the Titanic Exhibition at the 02 dome thing. (Ugly place!). We all got a boarding pass each of a real passenger. I was Edith Evans from New York, 36 and first class! Was in with a chance of survival there!

The testimonals of the survivors written around the walls were very moving. Also the stories of the one's who didn't get there. There was this posh old American couple in their '80s. They owned some of Barneys or Macy's or somewhere - and they were rich and first class. Anyway SHE wouldn't get in a lifeboat. She said her and her old man had been together for years, and she was not going to let him face this alone. So she joined him back on board for certain doom.

I wondered if I was capable of being a Big person like that. Assuming me and Husband were of retirement age - kids grown up and not with us and everything - and we had just collided with an iceberg. Would I get in that lifeboat? A new life in New York and the prospect of living it up with the life insurance? Or would I stay with Husband? Could I really drift away in a lifeboat and watch him there on deck?

They say drowning is a terrible way to go. I mean, all untimely death is, I suppose. But they say your lungs burst and you don't lose conciousness for a very long time.

But then, suppose it was a non-smoking lifeboat? What did I do then? No-one's going to stop you having a fag on the Titanic, are they? They would be preoccupied with the boat sinking. If I had say, 40 fags, and get Husband a few bottles of wine, we could have a bloody good time until The End, couldn't we?

Anyway, Husband said if there was one space left in a lifeboat, he would give it to The Cat. So that's answered that question then.

Wasn't one of the bloody survivors, was I! There was a list of them all at the end, who had been lost. Was furious! Went and let those bastards have it! They still remember me from Julie Andrews!!!

8 comments:

Stigmum said...

Hey you're back! Yay! Don't believe the book's rubbish. Not for a minute. You were given wrong boarding card for the boat, but in real life you're going places mamma!!
I've quit the fags but I've not gone evangelical. Your idea of your last party sounds pretty fab to me!!
lots of love from she who does seem to have gone all evangelical about housing.. oh well...great to see you're back!!

Suburbia said...

Great to have you back, thought you'd drowned!!!!!!

Marie and John said...

Welcome back. I've missed you.

Is your book autobiographical or have you just used your family as characters.

I too have had stories rejected by Woman's Weekly so try not to take it to heart.

Just remember JK Rowlings had Harry Potter rejected nine times before a publisher would accept it.

Will drop you an gossipy email soon.
xxxxx

Z said...

I think that the water around the Titanic would have been cold enough to see them off pretty quickly. I also think that you'd have been allowed to smoke anywhere, although you'd have been considered pretty racy.

Polly said...

Im so glad you are back, Ive missed you loads. Still reading as much as ever, te book reviews have not been as forthcoming but I am going to kick myself in the butt and get back into it.

Stacey said...

Newest Follower!
<3 your blog!
Stopping by from:
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&
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I hope you will follow me back :)
I have some great giveaways going right now!

Polly said...

Hello again lovely. Ollie could go to school next year when he is turning 5 but we have decided to wait til he is turning 6, most people over here hold their little ones back til 6 these days, I don't think it makes much difference!
Hope you are well.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Just noticed. I'm late as always. Great to see you at the helm again, even if you couldn't save the Titanic.

AV