Have had to spend time in the real world this week. Didn't like it much.
Went to go into Coffee Republic and some chunky kid closed the door in my face.
"Thanks Chubs", I mumbled to him as I re-opened it.
South Park are quite right. The fattest kids are indeed the meanest.
The posh woman he was with succumbed to his whinging for a cheese sandwich and then
demanded a receipt for it. I bet if that had been her own money,
he would have had to bloody well wait till he got home.
There was also a mean kid in the chip shop. Well, he whinged a bit anyway. And his mum was
telling him he had to share his chips with his sister.
I smiled nicely at the little..... boy. I conveyed my thoughts to him:
"When i was your age, i never had to share anything. I had chips all to myself. And sweets
and ice cream, I could eat it all by myself. And i was a lot poorer than you. All your life, you'll
grow up with tight-lipped people and will have to share everything. You'll never knew the pleasure of a full plate!"
His face screwed up and went red. I think i have ESP.
Why am i being so mean to kids suddenly? My own child is only 10 - it wasn't even that long ago for me. And here i am waging a war on them.
Still scarred from my encounter with the old woman last week, I watched warily as a senior citizen stood behind me in the M&S queue. With one item in her hand. Well, what could I do? The poor cow. I asked her if she wanted to go in front of my unashamedly extravagent and full basket. Of course then I was stuck making conversation with her, wasn't I. She asked if I knew if a certain restaurant was still open in Hampton Wick. She'd been there 25 years ago and it was very good. Well, I mean, bless her. I wouldn't know a restaurant if it lived next door to me! And then, just before she got scanned, she leaned up to me confidentially:
"Don't ever get old," she breathed, "its horrible!"
So I'm not old yet? Not according to her I wasn't. A smile spread across my face. My young face. What was I saying about old people? That they were the best? Bless her heart. She can go in front of me anytime. Even if she had two trolleys!