Friday, 30 January 2009

Adult Time

Our House is rubbish. Its official. A week of constant viewings and not a sausage. AND it didn't help that the buggers turned up today with some viewers in the middle of lunch. Me and daughter sitting there stuffing our faces, the clothes horse in full view, my dirty knickers left on the landing! ("Oh, did we not tell you about the viewing?") The main concern was hiding the ashtray and fags. I do not want some bastard sueing me for second hand smoke!

This surprise visit crushed me like a cigarette packet. It somehow really despressed me they had seen my dirty washing like that - not to mention the litter tray. There was only one thing for it - getting on the bus to Richmond and going to a six o'clock film at the Filmhouse - sorry, Curzon cinema. Hadn't had time out like that for ages and threw on my coat the moment Husband walked in the door. Now, the Curzon, formerly the Filmhouse, is a bit special to me because about 5 years ago - or whenever American Beauty was out - my mate saw Trevor McDonald queuing up for sweets at this very cinema. I long to do the same. I would love a glimpse of Trev. I've always been a bit in awe of him. And Son when he was about two, used to point at him on the TV and say "Daddy" (he did that to Jerry Springer too). That made me beam with pride.

Now tips for an unaccompanied older woman on a brief night out:

Not to giggle and blush when the young man at the box office asks you where you want to sit.
This is not 1975 when you flirted with anything that moved. This is 2009 and that boy's mother is probably younger than you!

Not to glare at the bearded man at the ice cream/cappucinno kiosk when he blankly gives you change for £10 in one pound coins. Even tho', when you yourself worked at the supermarket smiled nicely and apologetically for not having any £5.00 notes.
You must not succumb to this surly behaviour even if the young man in question was a bit "up himself"

And definitely not to say to the young girl in the auditorium "are you havin a laugh?" when she flashes her torch for one instant at some seat bang in the middle of a row. Admittedly if she wanted to show your seat properly, she could have held that torch up a bit longer. Was she cutting back on batteries or what?

This is not the correct ettiquette and no way for an older woman to behave.

Saw Rachel Getting Married by Johnathon Demme. Was a bit all over the place - and very noisy. Why do these Americans do this pre-wedding celebration thing? A big dinner the night before or something. Surely the wedding day itself is hard enough - my poor Husband's nerves certainly would never stand that sort of thing. And how many people did they have staying at this house? I know they have bigger houses in America but surely all those guests must have got on the poor Dad's tits. My Husband would have moved out after two days!
Gosh, that Ann Hathaway's a bit of a stunner isnt' she.

Gotta go. There are fags to be smoked. xxxx

6 comments:

Scriptor Senex said...

And you can't even smoke in the cinema any more... actually you can't smoke anywhere any more...

Elaine said...

I had a visit once when I was in the bath. Rude buggers.

I'm glad you went out for the night. I think I'd have told that bloke exactly where I wanted to sit!

Henry the Dog said...

You are so funny. Mum and me love how you write. You always cheer mum up even when you're miserable (sorry). Mum would have been mortified if someone had come round to her house unannounced and seen her knickers drying too. Mum's not been to the cinema in years, 'cause over here all the films are dubbed in French and she can't understand a word. She's looking forward to going to a UK cinema again.

Suburbia said...

Hi Jen, I had a gas man come into the back garden once when I was sunbathing in something skimpy! He said he no one answered the front door so he thought he'd just come round the back. He just stood there, bastard! Bastard estate agents too!!

Mean Mom said...

It is a strain, having your house on the market. When we put our place, in the Midlands, up for sale, it seemed that anyone who was passing came in for a look round. It was an old bungalow, circa 1901 and one couple admitted that they'd 'always wondered what it was like inside'! No intention of buying, of course. Yes, we let people look round at some very inconvenient times, because we were desperate to sell!

Hope you can hang on in there!

Jennysmith said...

You're dead right, SS, smokers are not welcome anywhere now. Puts a very diffent perspective on things.

Gosh, Elaine, I bet those people didn't forget that "viewing". Should have been a dealbreaker.

Hi henry, yes, your mum will soon be at one those UK cinemas - where she belongs. No, knickers are very precious to us mums. Should never be seen.

You're right, Sub, they're all bastards really. They're not a bit sorry about intruding.

Oh, MMM, i remember that when we sold our previous house. The Timewasters! Icould never have their nerve! There should be a law against it, there really should. but as you say, we still put up with it because we want to sell. xxxxx