Sunday, 25 January 2009

Thought i'd get on here while Husband is watching "Lost". Get a bit lost myself with that bloody programme. But there is one thing that confuses me most of all: how in Gods Name does that bloke stay horrendously fat even when he's been months on a desert island? And its not like he sits around eating coconuts either, he's always up to some jolly jape or another.

And that John. I quite fancy his Dad. I don't know why he's so bitter that his Dad only found him and got to know him again so he could get his kidney donated to him, then dropped him like a hot brick. My Dad would have done that. Without a second thought too. Its just business sense. That John should realise that.

Anyway thats enough of that shit. My daughter's been giving me agro. Well, her mates have. The ones who live in her hair. Thought i'd got rid of those bastards. But blow drying her hair, a million of them fell out all over our bed. Luckily it was on my husband's side! I think i swept them all up but at night i lay there convinced they were going to get me. And i swear i felt one crawl over my scalp. But then i cheered slightly. I had just had all over highlights at the hairdressers (as opposed to the half head thing) so my hair was jam packed with chemicals. Suck on that, i thought sleepily, wasn't that what that man in taxi driver said when he shot someone through the stomach? Well, that nit will be out faster than a bishop in brothel raid in the morning. Bloody amateur.

And now, i've got to be nice to Son's teacher tomorrow - or at least civil. Had a big row with that fat bastard when my daughter was in his class. Git. And yes, he is still high on my Bastard List. But thats the trouble with a younger sibling, you still have to put up with these buggers. Anyway got to ask nicely if he will walk Son back to school after a bloody football match. Well, i;m not smiling at him - will just ask politely without looking at him. Then i'm coming home and scrubbing myself all over. Now i know how a prostitute feels!


Henry the Dog said...

Why can't you just use 'Frontline' like my mum does with me? A little drop in between the shoulder-blades should do the trick and keep them nit and tick free for about a month. It's brilliant!

The Dotterel said...

Conditioner's the answer - gallons of it. The little buggers simply slip off your childs hair and onto someone else. Apparently.

French Fancy said...

blimey,Jen, they're not back again!

I know what you mean about the smiling thing - I think it comes with being female, the urge to smile when you say something. I really have to resist it because I've got a sort of Cheshire Cat grin and it comes on semi-automatically.

Practice looking stern in the mirror. It will take your mind off the nits.


Mean Mom said...

I have watched Lost with Student son, since the very beginning. We are devoted fans, but are the writers taking the p**s, now, or what? (Note I didn't type 'piss' in case you were offended. ;0))

I couldn't take my eyes off Hurly, either, last night. He's getting fatter, surely? I think he's eaten some of the other characters.

Yes, regarding nits, conditioner on hair, then comb through, before washing it off. What a relief that they didn't fall on your side of the bed.

Best of luck with Son's teacher. (I used to get irritated when teachers compared or contrasted my 3 lads. It was wrong!)

Jennysmith said...

Hi Henry. Yes, we've got some good stuff now from the vets. Old Furry's getting that straight between the shoulder blades. And is she moulting or what?!

Yes, D and MM, i've heard this. Their eggs can't cling onto the hair then. Had great fun with a tea tree oil conditioner tonight. There was thousands of dead ones in the bath afterwards - according to husband.

Hi FF, yes, its almost painful NOT to smile. The old git wasn't there today after all - so was off the hook. Had to ask another much younger teacher.

My husband agrees with you about Lost - he said he found it so bewildering. I just caught the Fat Bloke (yes, he looks larger than ever) crying to his mum that there were people still on the Island. Is John still about? I like him - well, his dad anyway. Now theres a REAL man.


Suburbia said...

Bloody nits!!!! We're still combing here! Hope the highlights do the trick!


Thames said...

OMG, I fell out of my chair laughing at this, and it's only 6.30 am!!!!

I'm putting your blog on the best of the British Mummy Bloggers on my site

Se you soon!

Jennysmith said...

God Suburbia, just had a huge comb-out session in the bath. Poor Daughter. Still, had a vicious blow drying antic afterwards. Loads of 'em falling out to an untimely death - brilliant! Thinking of turnin professional!

Thames, thank you so much, i'm very flattered and honoured. I've looked at your page before. Its super. Um - darling, whats a Typepad?

Hope we chat lots